10 Sarcastic Answers to the Question: ‘Why are you not married’?

‘Why are you not married?’

It is normal for people who care about you to wonder, ponder and be concerned about your marital status, especially when you are of age.  Some can’t seem to hold it in anymore and they would go as far as talking to you about it. 

Well, very distant relatives, friends, acquaintances and even strangers would bother too, but them taking the role of CIA is a No No.  They are usually the ones who would ask you this question in the most uncomfortable of ways, while close relatives and those who really care about you will go about the discussion in a more mature way.

When it comes to finding out about why a lady is not yet hooked, there are smart ways to go about it. But asking her out rightly is rude and too forward.  This is so because most times, a lady does not have the answer to this question. 

Also, going by societal norms, there is actually a limit to which she can do to get herself married.  

This question should be posed to a man and not a woman. Some women who have made their choice may have an answer to this question but most women don’t really have one.

Some of us have been forced to tell a tale or refer back to a failed relationship just to have something to say in response to this very silly question.

Some of us have even been cajoled or talked into believing that there is something wrong with us therefore getting us to run from pillar to post looking for some spiritual solution to a behavioral problem.

Seriously, this question should not be thrown aimlessly at a single woman.

Ladies, without further ado, find below the super sarcastic answer to that third class question.

Next time, when asked why you are not married,

Don’t try to change the topic.

Don’t smile and cover up the embarrassment that you have no answer to that baseless question.

Bae, you don’t have an answer cos sh*t happens.

If anybody should be asking why you are not married, it is you.

It is you who should be questioning yourself in the comfort of your mind; looking through patterns, reminiscing on events and happenings, and brooding on the reason behind past decisions.

Not them, but you.

And you know why you shouldn’t bother to rack your brain for a serious answer?

They don’t care enough to help you settle down.  They just want information.  They won’t introduce you to a fine cousin or a brother who has got a bright future.  They won’t even introduce you to a friend who is single and searching.

Next time you are posed with this question, do a ‘back to sender’ with these beautiful answers:

1. I have found someone I can live with for the rest of my life but I just choose to stall

2. I have two horns on my head; I am being mistaken as the devil

3. I am from another world, I am waiting for my partner (from the other world) to be born.

4. I am not ready to share toothpaste, or the TV remote

5. I don’t want to go to jail for murder. I am still yet to learn about myself.

6. I wanted to be a nun but the convent won’t take me, so I’m stuck between careers- being a nun and being a single woman.

*When a married woman asks you*

7. I am waiting for you to leave your husband for me.

She will either go quiet or go hysteria. 

If she has sense, she will go quiet. 

She will because this is a scary question to a stupid and insensitive question coming from her. 

I must say,  you would have to be careful afterwards though, especially if she is someone you know well. 

She will take the statement to heart and begin to watch you like a hawk when her husband is around.    

Nevertheless, I promise you one thing; she would never ask you this question again.

*When a married man asks you*

8. I am waiting for you to leave your wife

Trust me he would first be dumbfounded. 

You know what you should do? Look at his face and relish the moment.  

You rule the world now. 

When he eventually gets himself back and wants to reply, you either have changed the convo (like nothing happened) or you suddenly have a need to use the bathroom and would have walked away.

Dia father!

*When a toaster asks you*

9. I probably am too hot for the men who have approached me in the past.

Dust your shoulder and say “Can’t touch this”.

Then do the MC hammer dance.

Or say:

10. Why have you have you not built your own estate in Lagos? After all you are a man, making it in life should be easy.

Sisters, 

Go and be intimidated no more. 

😉