The ‘Life In Between'…

What does a woman do with the 'life in between'? 

I mean that time in your lifetime when you are ready and really want to be married and it isn’t happening yet.  You seem to have done all that’s needed to be done of a lady. You are done with school, now with a job or skill or business. Or maybe you are not exactly done yet but age does not seem to be on your side.  Or probably, you simply feel the need to move to the next phase of your life. You really want to get married. You want to get married now. But, it is not just happening as soon as you want it to.

What do you do with this time?  What do you do at this time?  How do you comport yourself?  

What do you tell relatives who are beginning to get uncomfortable for you and constantly reminding you daily of how they are expecting you to bring someone home soon? What do you do especially when your change in size and face is beginning to tell on you? How do you handle a boyfriend who after so many years of relationship is still not saying the ‘M’ word? How do you relate with men without appearing desperate or nonchalant?

Some ladies have put their lives to a halt because they want to settle down. Don’t get me wrong, looking to get married needs some amount of focus from you, but it doesn’t mean you should put your whole life on hold.

Some have let others put them on lots of unnecessary pressure- very unnecessary pressure.  While there are some who put the pressure on themselves. They just love to wallow in it. They worry, fear and are very desperate.

You are a woman and it is normal that you want to be with a man. To be with one man that you call yours; to want to have your own home and raise your own kids.

It is a new level of life that almost every woman craves for in life. But have we ever asked why?

What is the purpose of getting married and raising a family? Have we ever tried to find out what it takes, so we are don’t get 100pecent surprised when we eventually get in? Do we find out if we are really ready at the time and level we are in?

Are you aware of the kind of ‘deal’ you are getting into? And if you seem to be getting over-aged, what seem to be keeping you?  Have we ever tried to find the problem instead of running round for solution to a problem we can’t identify?

Sometimes, a husband is not the present need of a woman, it could be self discovery first and many other deep stuff that would help you be a wholesome wife/life partner.

I am here to say:

There can be a ‘life in between'.  Your life should not end when you are looking for a husband nor should it end when you find one.  It doesn’t mean it really begins when you do get married, but what actually happens is that it is a next phase of life that is starting and what you should be doing now is preparing yourself for it. The more time you have, the more you should develop yourself to be a better woman- for yourself and for the benefits of your husband to be and your kids.

You are free to have a life before marriage.  And you should be free to have one after- if you are lucky to marry a man who would let you live. 

Do you want to live or do you want to be dead before you eventually marry?

The 'life in between' can be well utilized. You can use this time to develop yourself, learn to be a wise woman, acquire knowledge, acquire necessary skills, lose weight and keep fit, add weight and keep fit, work on a #badht ass figure, eat right, have fun, serve God, do crazy things you’ve never done etc

It is a time to know you; to meet yourself and understand yourself better. Ask questions about yourself.   It is a perfect time to journey into your past from your present and then project into your future for good.  YOU WILL DISCOVER THINGS. 

You can change your present for the better during this time.

It is also time to learn more about marriage. Don’t run away from married people. They have some experience you could learn from.

It is not enough to plot and plan selfish schemes to get married and then end up in a terrible situation (where it’s worse than when you were still single).  

This is neither an anti-marriage forum nor is it a pro ‘kill yourself if you are still single’ one either.  It is not an ‘ignore your craving for marriage and to be with a man’ blog. 

It is a get your fine a** together forum. This blog’s watch words are more like:

Wise up. Be Strong. Get better –daily! Quit whimpering.  Set your goal. Strategize. Show up. Get Married. Live!