BOSS LADY MONDAY: 4 Uncool Things Assertive Women do when they are around men they like

I’ve seen ladies with strong personalities act all different especially when they are around a guy they like or that they have a tendency to fall for.   To the untrained eye, it might seem she’s just being herself, bossy as usual.

But this bossy is a different kind of bossy.

It has some measure of attention, tender instructions and unnecessary conversations that come with it.   

I am able to tell that this kind of woman likes this guy and that’s why she is acting that way.  But the way she is acting is not sending the right signals and vibes to the guy.  He will get it all mixed up and think she is just being professional or too serious.

Here are four things assertive women do when they are around a guy they like or have a tendency to fall for:

YOU ORDER HIM

When you want to call his attention, you are really firm about it.  There is no warmth and friendliness about it.   I am not saying you should start acting or shaking like a jelly fish.   All I’m saying is that, let the bossy tone sit back and let the soft, sweet you take the wheel.

Don’t order him to ‘come’ or ‘listen’.  

Ask him politely or ladylikely : ‘May I speak with you please..?’

YOU ACT LIKE YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED

I discover the boss lady’s frown comes up as soon as she feels her heart tugging in the direction of a particular guy, especially when she really did not intentionally pay him attention in the first place.   

Initially, she battles with the idea -or should we say ‘feeling’-, because she seems to be losing control and her emotions are beginning to give her away.

Hence, she tries hard not to make it show.

She feels she needs to be sure how he feels or how much he feels.  She thinks 'she can’t just be falling or tripping for this guy just like that'.

I say, If you really do like him, and wouldn’t mind dating him, you would need to loosen up a bit and let him know in subtle ways that you do like him.  

Loosen your tightened face and smile more often.   

If he pays you special attention, do return it.

Plus stop chaining those feelings.

YOU HOLD ON TO CONTROL:

This is a cue from the point above.

Sometimes you fight hard not to lose control of yourself or your emotions. You are so used to being in control; being in control of your life and the choices you make.    

So you kick the emotions behind as they try to surface. 

Also, somehow in your speech and actions towards this guy, you talk/act like you are in control.  You think he needs to know you are very much in charge of your emotions and he must not know of how you are beginning to privately pay so much attention to him and often entertain thoughts of him.

I know you want to protect yourself and you need him to know that you are not like other girls, but you need to be careful how you pass this message across.

Do not let him misunderstand you by thinking you are some control freak.  

Find subtle ways in showing him that you are not ‘Miss- dependent’.  

And stop trying to fight or control those emotions, accept them and handle them wisely.

Decide what you really want to with them.  

Do you want to encourage them and then hope you have something with this guy?

Or do you want to discard them since you don’t see yourself with this person for reasons best known to you?

YOU STIFFEN UP

 You are not as free like you would have been with him if there were no butterflies in your belly or thoughts of him flying around your head.

He will misunderstand you if you keep being uptight and all serious around him.

He might not even be the very patient type.   He will think you don’t like him or that he has done something to offend you.   

Above all, he might think you are being snobbish towards him.  

So, be friendly. At least be you. 

Don’t change. Be the nice lady you would have been if there were no emotions welling up. 

At least, start from there.